Help! I’m Horny

By Amy Ryles, 25/01/2013

What are condoms for?

If you ask Durex, they’ll probably tell you that condoms are for sex and that sex is all about play. Yet, visit their website, and you’ll see that they’re not really all that sure about this: an invitation to “Come to the Pleasure Zone” is stretched, unsmiling, across the homepage; frozen in the bull’s eye of a pharmaceutical pink target and surrounded by neat, stackable squares of polite blurb. Despite the blocks of colour, Durex’s body language isn’t that of play and fun and pleasure. They may talk about play, but the semiotics of Durex are clean and corporate – and, if I may say, a little uptight.

Contrast this to Help Remedies – a challenger who we have come to expect good things from. They have recently launched a new product: a natural latex condom fittingly titled ‘Help: I’m horny’. Like many before them, Help Remedies believe that great sex happens in great places; a belief that has informed their distribution: they will only sell their condoms in great places. Not in pharmacies, alongside the rest of their range, but in the mini-bars of very posh hotels.

And if you’re not in a posh hotel any time soon, you can ‘apply’ online- although only if your sexual exploits are inventive and entertaining enough. A set of questions that’d make Russell Brand blush (… actually, they probably wouldn’t) probe you to expose your scandalous sexual habits, preferences and turn-ons. Allegedly, there are three people reviewing each and every application (I bet there are), awarding their so-skinny-they’re-almost-invisible condoms to those with the most inventive and outrageous fantasies.

Help I'm horny

In sum then, these condoms will facilitate great sex because they’re almost invisible. They’re sold in great places. But if you’re not in a great place, then you need to prove to Help Remedies that you’re guaranteed to have great sex. The belief ties the product together so well that a clear and self-assured brand identity has emerged, with the confidence to make a bit of a joke about sex. It’s another clear example of Help Remedies projecting their identity throughout everything that they do.

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