So a couple of years ago I was invited to do a speech at a large conference by SAB Miller. A great couple of days, with some great other speakers – Jack Welch, Phil Jackson. The Master of Ceremonies over the two days was the great P J Rourke, who announced to the 5000 assembled beer distributors that he had read Eating the Big Fish, and applied his own acid test to the Eight Credos to see if they were usable or snake oil. I was a little apprehensive as to the nature of this test, which he then revealed to be its value as a guide to getting married.

For some reason I was sorting through some old emails and came across it today. These are his version of the Eight Credos, as a guide to How to Get Married, in his own words:

1. Break with your immediate past. Before you start wooing the girl of your dreams quit wooing other girls.

2. Build a lighthouse identity. Be bright, but not blinding — go for sweeping flashes of brilliance.

3. Assume thought leadership of the category. Find out what kind of movies she likes, and make yourself rent “Sleepless in Seattle.”

4. Create symbols of reevaluation. A couple of carats offered on bended knee usually works.

5. Sacrifice. It’s called getting married.

6. Overcommit. It’s called having kids.

7. Use advertising and publicity as a high-leverage asset. Be nice to her mother.

8. Flying unstable. All of the above.

He was charming. He finished this intro by inviting the audience to welcome me to the stage so that a Brit could enlighten them about challengers.

And then, he said, we’ll enlighten the British about refrigeration.